Because England is more than just fish and chips.

Let’s get to it. The UK is not particularly renowned for its street food. Rather than lounging outside Southeast Asian style, or strolling with a calzone down winding Italian city streets, the UK’s drizzly weather often prevents this.

But there is still a particular cuisine in the UK that is eaten by its residents both on the go or in back-to-basic cafes. And here they are – worst to best.

13. Mr Whippy ice cream

This British ice cream brand is well-known to small kids with its off-kilter speakers that pump out ‘Green Sleeves’ that lure them in, sticky hands bulging with small change. It’s a soft-serve ice cream, best served with a chocolate Flake or an unknown, brightly coloured, sticky sauce.

Rumour has it in my friendship group that one of us got food poisoning from one once. Is it true? Not sure. Do I want to risk it? Absolutely not. For that dubious reason, Mr Whippy is very much an unlucky 13.

12. Greggs sausage roll

It smells so good that it’s hard to resist your feet inexorably dragging themselves to the store door. All it takes is to drop your pound coins in the hand of the cashier, and you’ll be leaving with a grease-spotted paper bag before you know what’s happening. Unless you’re in that perfect sweet spot of mid-range hungover, the next stage is queasiness.

11. Sandwich

A classic go-to when you’re walking the famous ‘British High Street’. Flavours such as Leicester cheese and red onion, ham and butter, egg mayonnaise and BLT might have been supplanted in recent years by fancier recipes, but with these prices? Hard to beat. However, when it’s the cheapest option, and I get it more than two days in a row, I find my stomach bloating like no tomorrow.

10. Scotch egg

I am a big fan of scotch eggs. When I was a kid growing up in the UK, it was my go-to from a service station (that’s a ‘servo’ to you). But with adulthood comes self-actualisation. And for me, that was realising that, unless it is freshly made, ready-made scotch eggs in plastic wrapping are dry enough to suck up any moisture you might have in your mouth.

9. Deep-fried Mars Bar

Walking past a fish and chip shop in the north of England, you might see this sign. You might even think, surely that’s worth a go. And, dear reader, it very much is. Once. After that, the appeal of the sticky, gooey deliciousness wears off a bit. But 100 per cent worth a try.

8. Cheesy chips with gravy

It might be the unclassy version of the Canadian curd-laden poutine, but cheesy chips and gravy still have that je ne sais wot quality. Add together the northern England habit of adding gravy to your chips with some melted cheese, and you have a stunning, winning combination.

7. Pie

A cheap staple that dates back centuries, the humble British pie was once filled with Thames eels. Today there are as many varieties as you can imagine, but steak and ale, chicken and mushroom, and cheese and onion are some of the most common – and way more appetising – modern recipes.

6. Jacket (baked) potatoes

Higher in nutrients than some of the other options on this list, this street food nudges closer to the top. The ‘jacket’ potato is named by the Brits because the potato skin is left on. Walking and eating a whole potato can be a bit of a challenge though, especially with the range of toppings available: baked beans and cheese, chilli con carne, tuna and simple salt and butter.

5. Yorkshire pudding wrap or Yorkshire burrito

For some it’s a travesty, for others, it’s heaven on Earth. I am in the latter group. An indulgent creation that has come into the world in recent years, it starts with the common Sunday roast dinner accompaniment of a Yorkshire pudding, made of batter and baked into an almost bread-type puff. Take this, fill it with beef, stuffing, roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy, and you have the UK’s homegrown erosion of a burrito.

4. Cup of tea (AKA the ‘cuppa’)

Whether you have no sugar or three, milk added first or last, there is never any argument that tea is the common love language of the UK. And while not exactly a street food, it doesn’t matter if you’re asking someone if they want a cup of tea made, have just put on the tea or are on a tea break, the theme is the same. Tea.

3. Fish and chips

For a lot of Brits, this national dish is a shared memory of growing up. There always seemed to be a ‘chippy’ on the street corner, with the vinegar and salt placed invitingly on the corner of the counter. The fish is often cod or hake and is battered and fried before being lovingly wrapped in a tantalisingly hot bundle, along with a few generous handfuls of chips.

2. Cornish pasties

Having grown up in the south-west of England, my family would disown me if this didn’t make high placement. Luckily, it is one of my lifelong favourites. A folded-over pastry shell with crimped edges, the Cornish pasty is usually filled with beef, potatoes, turnips and/or swedes, onion, salt and pepper. This pastry is so iconic, that the EU gave it the Protected Geographical Indication.

1. Bacon bap/butty

The drifting smell of a soft crispy white roll, melting butter and sizzling bacon from an unseen barbecue was pretty much the only thing I looked forward to when I went to watch my dad play rugby as a small kid. The butter was, and still is, essential, as the bacon makes it melt just so.

If you’re in Scotland, level up with the addition of a tattie scone, which is made from mashed potato mixed with butter, before being griddled. If you’re vegetarian, take out the bacon completely and replace it with chips (a ‘chip butty’).